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Through the Therapy Room Window

Nicky Stewart

Nov 7, 2025

Understanding the Pandemic Impact Across Childhood Development

Having the privilege of working with children in the therapy room offers me a rare insight into the emotional landscape of this young generation. What I and many of my colleagues in education and the field of therapy have noticed is how each age group now carries its own imprint of the pandemic. Having worked with children and young people in schools for the last 17 years I have an insight into how they have related, regulated and connected with the world, pre and post pandemic.


The COVID19 pandemic saw 3 different periods of lockdown. During each period schools moved their lessons to an online provision. I also moved my practice on-line and supported childrens' wellbeing through a YouTube wellbeing channel called Buzz Club - 5 Ways to Wellbeing.


Each response to this period was very much a reaction to how a child's environment was experienced. Some would have had space, time, attuned attention and support, whilst others' may have been living in cramped, volatile or unsafe environments. There was no 'normal' during this whole year from March 2020 - March 2021 - 3 periods of separate lockdowns - as illustrated in the graphic below. There was a popular saying at the time; whilst we were all in the same storm - we were all very much in different boats!



When we now explore the current feeling amongst this pandemic generation of children we can see how this period would have effected their developmental stages. As adults, we had fully developed brains and emotional regulation strategies, so the return to 'normal' for us was a case of basing our new 'normal' on how things were pre-pandemic, we had that memory and understanding of life to return to. But we know for our children, especially those born during the pandemic, they do not have that safe base of life without constant anxiety and fear of a virus that had the potential to kill.


We know that childhood development is a dance between a child and their environment: the rhythm of separation / return, exploration / safety, independence / belonging. Lockdowns severely interrupted that rhythm, every age group lost a few steps and although the 'normal routines' have resumed, many children are still finding their footing.


What I and others' in education now see now are echoes of those early disruptions expressed through behaviour, play and emotions within our schools. I myself have witnessed:


  • A preschool child who clings fiercely to familiar their caregiver before daring to explore.


  • A child in early primary years / KS1 who crumbles at a change in routine.


  • An upper primary / KS2 child who seeks constant reassurance or struggles to tolerate frustration.


  • The adolescent who withdraws or feels chronically disconnected from peers.


Viewed through the lens of developmental need, these responses make perfect sense. What was missing when these skills were meant to be rehearsed is now expressed in our classrooms, playgrounds and therapy sessions alike. How many adults supporting children and young people have witnessed any of the stress responses listed in this graphic below:


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On 15th September 2025, the UK COVID-19 Inquiry published groundbreaking research after gathering the views of the pandemic years from 600 children and young people (CYP) aged 9-22. This was often harrowing to read and revealed so much about how the pandemic has effected them in life changing ways, some positively and some negatively.


“Babies, children and young people suffered deeply during the pandemic, not just from the virus, but from the decisions made around it. From maternity wards to empty classrooms and locked playgrounds, their worlds were turned upside down. The most vulnerable felt it the hardest. Their voices have always mattered but they haven’t always been heard. The Inquiry must hear them now, so we learn from past mistakes, and they are never repeated”

Becca Lyon, Head of England / Westminster, Save the Children UK



As a child-centred therapist I am always advocating for the voice of the child to be heard, so I felt is was essential to amplify these voices in a way that we as adults can hear and respond. I will explore the impacts for each stage of development using Erikson’s model - Erik Erikson (1902-1994) was a German-American psychoanalyst best known for his theory on the eight stages of psychosocial development. He proposed that personality develops in a series of eight stages, each with a specific psychosocial crisis or conflict to resolve.


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Infancy (0-2 years): Attachment and Safety

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Children born between:

  • Sept 2018 - Aug 2019 will now be in school Year 2

  • Sept 2019 - Aug 2020 will now be in school Year 1

  • Sept 2020 - Aug 2021 will now be in Reception


At the time of the pandemic lockdowns these children would have been in their infant developmental stage. Infancy is the stage where attachment forms and an infant’s world is built from the predictability and responsiveness of caregivers. Facial expressions, vocal tones, gentle separation/reunion and repeated co-regulation experiences teach a baby/toddler that the world is safe.


Pandemic impact:


  • Limited access to extended family and community caregivers reduced exposure to diverse social cues.

  • Masked faces and social distancing restricted infants’ ability to read expressions and emotional tone.

  • For some families, increased parental stress or illness may have interrupted attuned responsiveness.


Pandemic observations aged 0-2:


  • Heightened separation anxiety or clinginess.

  • Sensory sensitivity to new environments, noise or touch.

  • Hesitation to explore new settings without a trusted adult present.


Current observations for this age group (particularly Year 1's):


  • Capable children who are easily overwhelmed.

  • Rapid escalation during transitions or multi-step activities.

  • Reliance on adults to scaffold emotional recovery.


Supporting strategies for teachers:


  • Visual schedules and countdowns: Reduce anxiety by making transitions predictable.

  • Micro-transitions: Teach and rehearse each step (eg: “We’ll clap once, then walk quietly to the table”).

  • Calm regulation cues: Use breathing exercises, gentle voice tone or fidget tools before redirecting behaviour.

  • Small-group play: Structured, adult-facilitated play sessions build cooperation and communication.

  • Emotion coaching: Name feelings and model coping strategies (eg: “I can see you’re frustrated - let’s take a deep breath together”).

  • Language-rich interaction: Encourage story retelling, questioning and descriptive play.



Early Childhood (3–5 years): Play and Language

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Children born between:

  • Sept 2017 - Aug 2018 would have been in Nursery - now in school Year 3

  • Sept 2016 - Aug 2017 would have been in Reception - now in school Year 4


These children would have been Preschool/Early years which is a period of rapid social, emotional and language growth. Children learn through play, practising cooperation, negotiation and self-regulation. Vocabulary and conversational skills develop in the context of peer interactions and shared experiences.


Pandemic impact:


  • Reduced access to nursery or preschool play/ Early years, limited opportunities for social learning.

  • Screen-based interactions replaced nuanced face-to-face communication.

  • Masking, distancing and unpredictable routines disrupted early social-emotional practice.


Pandemic observations:


  • Limited expressive language or emotional vocabulary.

  • Difficulty negotiating with peers, sharing or waiting turns.

  • Heightened frustration and tantrums when plans change.


Current observations:


  • Fragile peer confidence or social anxiety.

  • Difficulty tolerating conflict or ambiguity.

  • Perfectionism or avoidance of tasks with potential failure.


Supporting strategies for teachers:


  • Structured social skill sessions: Cooperative games, group problem-solving and circle-time discussion.

  • Explicit conflict resolution teaching: Model negotiation and perspective-taking.

  • Gradual independence: Allow choice within tasks to build agency and decision-making confidence.


Supporting strategies for parents:


  • Peer practice: Arrange small playdates or collaborative activities in safe environments.

  • Guided reflection: Discuss social experiences and emotions after school, modelling appropriate responses.

  • Encourage hobbies: Activities that encourage new skills and self-efficacy rebuild confidence.



Early Primary (5–7 years): Independence and Mastery

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Children born between:

  • Sept 2015 - Aug 2016 would have been in Year 1 - now in school year 5

  • Sept 2014 - Aug 2015 would have been in Year 2 - now in school Year 6

  • Sept 2013 - Aug 2014 would have been in Year 3 - now in school Year 7


In early primary school, children consolidate self-regulation, manage transitions and begin mastering independence in structured settings like classrooms. Year 1 and Year 2 & 3 are critical years for embedding routines and coping with multiple demands.


Pandemic impact:


  • Limited practice managing group expectations and classroom transitions.

  • Adult assistance at home often replaced opportunities to attempt problem-solving independently.

  • Reduced exposure to peer frustration and negotiation slowed regulatory skill development.

  • Prolonged absence from peer groups disrupted social skill practice.

  • Screen-based communication replaced face-to-face interaction, reducing subtle nonverbal learning.

  • Missed extracurricular activities limited opportunities for teamwork, resilience, and confidence building.


Current observations:

  • Fragile peer confidence or social anxiety.

  • Difficulty tolerating conflict or ambiguity.

  • Perfectionism or avoidance of tasks with potential failure.


Supporting strategies for teachers:

  • Structured social skill sessions: Cooperative games, group problem-solving, and circle-time discussion.

  • Explicit conflict resolution teaching: Model negotiation and perspective-taking.

  • Gradual independence: Allow choice within tasks to build agency and decision-making confidence.


Supporting strategies for parents:

  • Peer practice: Arrange small playdates or collaborative activities in safe environments.

  • Guided reflection: Discuss social experiences and emotions after school, modelling appropriate responses.

  • Encourage hobbies: Activities that foster mastery and self-efficacy rebuild confidence.



Upper Primary (8–11 years): Social Belonging and Competence

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Children born between:

  • Sept 2013 - Aug 2014 would have been in Year 4 - now in school year 8

  • Sept 2012 - Aug 2013 would have been in Year 5 - now in school Year 9

  • Sept 2011 - Aug 2012 would have been in Year 6 - now in school Year 10


Children in middle childhood learn through friendship, group cooperation and problem-solving. They explore identity within social contexts, develop resilience through peer feedback and refine executive function skills.


Pandemic impact:


  • Limited opportunities for shared peer experience delayed social identity formation.

  • Over reliance on digital socialisation altered communication skills and emotional literacy.

  • Some experienced social isolation, anxiety, or a sense of disconnection from normal adolescence.


Current observations:


  • Adolescence is the stage of identity formation and social independence. Peer networks become central and adolescents rely on shared experiences for developing autonomy, resilience and their sense of self.

  • Withdrawal or disengagement from peers and school.

  • Heightened self-consciousness or social fatigue.

  • Focused attention on global or moral issues, sometimes accompanied by anxiety or self-doubt.


Supporting strategies for teachers:


  • Flexible social opportunities: Small-group projects, mentoring and peer collaboration.

  • Discussion spaces: Encourage reflection on social and ethical dilemmas in safe, scaffolded ways.

  • Gradual autonomy: Provide choice, responsibility and leadership roles.


Supporting strategies for parents:


  • Facilitate peer contact: Support safe social interaction, shared hobbies, or team activities.

  • Open conversation: Encourage discussion of feelings, opinions and anxieties without judgment.

  • Recognise achievements: Focus on effort, growth and resilience rather than performance alone.


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Young Adults Now Aged 18–21 (Entering University, Training or Employment)

I have many colleagues who report on this cohort now, noticing different ways the pandemic lockdowns may have effected them - during the pandemic they would have been 13-16 years old in the throes of mid-adolescence. This is the developmental stage where identity, independence, peer belonging and social exploration are the primary tasks.


Normally, these years include huge developmental 'rehearsals': social mixing, group belonging, part-time jobs, early relationships, exams, risk-taking in safe environments, and a gradual move toward adult identity.


What was disrupted by lockdowns:


  • Loss of peer immersion - limited daily face-to-face interaction at the exact age it becomes developmentally essential.

  • Interrupted identity formation - fewer opportunities to try roles, hobbies, social groups, independence.

  • Reduced resilience-building - missed exams, missed failures, missed recoveries, missed transitions.

  • Overreliance on online worlds - where identity is curated rather than explored.

  • Lost milestones (proms, rites of passage, work experience, first jobs, uni induction).


How they often present now (entering uni or employment 2025+):


  • Uncertain social identity: Difficulty knowing 'who they are' outside family or online personas.

  • Low tolerance for discomfort: Struggle with new environments, deadlines, feedback or conflict.

  • Anxiety about independence: Challenges with living away from home, managing finances, self-organisation.

  • Perfectionism or avoidance: Fear of failure because they missed gradual exposure to healthy challenge.

  • Social fatigue: They want connection but get overwhelmed by sustained face-to-face interaction.

  • High sensitivity to change: Transitions feel unusually big or destabilising.


Strengths commonly seen in this cohort:


  • Digital literacy and adaptability - they learned to problem-solve online.

  • Mature empathy - many show high compassion and awareness of mental health.

  • Motivated by purpose - strong values-based thinking and awareness of global issues.

  • Self-reflective - used time alone to develop inner awareness, though sometimes without outward expression.


What can support them today in university or employment settings:


  1. Clear structure & predictable scaffolding

    1. Explicit instructions, timelines and expectations.

    2. Check-ins during early weeks of transition (relationship building not just managerial focused).

  2. Gradual independence opportunities

    1. Start with guided tasks leading to semi-independent tasks then lone responsibilities.

    2. Celebrate progress, not perfection.

  3. Emotional safety and psychological flexibility training

    1. Acknowledge that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed.

    2. Tools for regulation: grounding, micro-breaks, reframing mistakes.

  4. Peer-belonging opportunities

    1. Low-pressure, interest-based groups.

    2. Structured social events rather than high-intensity mixers.

    3. Mentoring systems (older students or colleagues).

  5. Explicit teaching of life skills

    1. Budgeting, time management, workplace etiquette.

    2. Many missed informal learning from part-time jobs or social observation.

  6. Trauma-informed approaches

    1. Understanding that many young adults are developmentally a couple of years behind socially, but not intellectually.

    2. Responding with curiosity rather than judgment.



A Shared Thread Across Ages


Across all developmental stages, the same needs recur: safety, predictability, co-regulation and relational connection. Healing from the pandemic’s disruption isn’t about accelerating academic or social skills; it’s about rebuilding trust in relationships, routines and the world itself.


Children thrive when adults form a calm, coordinated team. Teachers provide structure and parents provide emotional scaffolding. When both use consistent routines, cues and supportive language, children sense coherence and safety. Even small, predictable wins such as successful transitions, collaborative play, or brief independence, all signal that their nervous system can trust the world again.



Conclusion

The pandemic may have stolen some moments of practice from each developmental stage, but children are resilient. With awareness, attunement and intentional support, they can learn - not only academically, but emotionally and socially. The therapy room, the classroom and the home are all spaces where the same principles apply: observe the story behind the behaviour, provide predictable support and scaffold the next step in development.


Children who felt disrupted can still flourish. I have witnessed that with guided, empathetic adults at their side, they often exceed expectations, carrying forward resilience, adaptability and emotional insight born from their early experiences. There is a core belief that given the right conditions children flourish - it is our responsibility as adults to provide our children and young people with the right conditions to heal from that period of stress and trauma.


I wrote a paper on the return to school life post-lockdown and the strategies here still apply. As adults we have to ensure we are emotionally regulated to provide the co-regulation our children need from us now, therefore it is essential we ensure we are grounded and regulated before we step into our roles of modelling this for the children and young people we support.


As adults we have to accept that this current generation need us to meet them where they are at and not where we would have expected each cohort to have behaved pre-pandemic. Our current year 1's will be the year group to watch - we need to follow them up the school years and be prepared for the developmental delays they will have inevitably endured. Let's all acknowledge this for our children and young people, whilst also supporting our teachers and parents that are raising this cohort - compassion, patience and understanding is the key to healing - when their storm meets our calm - co-regulation occurs.


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References


  • Erikson, E. H. (1950). Childhood and society. W. W. Norton & Company



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Nicola Stewart, Basepoint, Pine Grove, Crowborough, East Sussex, TN6 1DH, England, UK

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